Dear reader,
Since 2021 I have adopted missionaries, right? Well, yes. But some of them have still managed to become more dear and important to me. Like almost favorite children, even though I KNOW it is basically impossible to have favorites... Still when I met the new missionaries arriving some months ago we became good friends quickly (elder Frantz came earlier but he also became more important when the new ones arrived).
By the time they arrived I had been really depressed for a looong time and in a miserable state. I had zero energy. I stayed at home for weeks on end, only going to church on Sundays. I sat on my couch or lied in bed with my phone and scrolled through facebook etc. for hours on end. Sometimes even 9+ hours a day! I didn't have energy to clean my home. I had really severe anxiety.
THEN: the new missionaries arrived :)
I went to the culture night (they have it once a month) and I had a lot of fun with my friends who are not members of our church, from different countries and cultures. I of course spent time with the missionaries but they were in charrge of the party so they were really busy.
When I came home I started thinking of my life a little more like, I noticed suddenly that I actually am quite alone. I don't have my parents in my home city, they live else where and they are getting old. I got really sad and upset myself with thoughts of "eternal solitude" and dying alone etc. Sounds horrible. It was. lol.
I cried for one hour of loneliness but also for my friends at church who have helped me so much, how happy they have made me on countless occasions (happy tears about the missionaries). I decided to ask the missionaries if it's okay that I adopted them. YES, it is okay was the answer :)
Each Sunday they have made sure one of them is sitting next to me at church so I do not have to sit alone. Elder Frantz played the organ every Sunday (I am the music coordinator in our ward and thus I choose the organist, song leader and the songs). Elder Frantz is an EXCELLENT organist. He also performed a song I asked him to play on the grand piano one Sunday.
I once got a blessing from the elders so that I would not become ill. I had felt a bit weird for a while (mental health problems). It really helped. From that moment on I became better and felt more normal. But my normal is not very normal in any case... (I have borderline personality disorder and aspergers with a dash of ADHD.).
I suddenly decided to go to church each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday to the activities there in the evenings. I made an effort in my appearence (I didn't care a lot about how my colors went together and didn't put on a lot of make up before). I slowly started coming back to life. I didn't scroll all day, I cleaned my home more, I was more active :) Only thing that suffered in this situation was my reading life lol. I have been in a looong reading slump.
These happy weeks were true bliss. I got the opportunity to help the missionaries and in return my depression was kept at bay. I knitted a scarf for elder Frantz, I spent time with the missionaries as often as I could and it was better than any therapy :D I know many people do not understand depression, and I have been diagnosed with severe depression. It is like I was dead before. People do not understand this because on the surface I look so happy.
I will never ever forget this my most precious bonus family I ever have had.
Thank you, dear missionaries! :)
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